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TITLE: Keeping You (4761)
AUTHOR: Hazyl Del Carmen
FROM: Precious Hearts Romances
PAGES: 128
“Minsan, kailangan mo ng isang tao to make you feel loved and cared for. That’s the point of loving—needing someone and being the need of someone.”
Maki had never been interested in guys until Jurdie Migrino popped out of nowhere and made her realize a different perspective in life. Ito ang dahilan ng mga panibagong nararamdaman niya. Kaya ganoon na lang ang paninisi niya rito sa pagtatalo ng isip at puso niya. Unti-unting nahulog ang loob niya rito hanggang sa ma-realize niyang mahal na niya ito. She wanted to keep him for herself. Pero hindi sila maaaring magsama ni Jurdie. Hindi niya dapat isipin ang sariling damdamin. Because she knew she could hurt her best friend in the process…
REVIEW
GENRE
Romance
PLOT
Still needed some polishing, but plot was quite interesting.
POINT OF VIEW
The POVs were okay, aside from the hero's "self-confession". I don't know if anyone will agree, but I find it better if the hero confesses his love for the heroine PERSONALLY. That's why you have all those blank pages to fill with scenes that SHOW how the love develops between the characters, to give HINTS that the hero is starting to fall in love with the heroine. If the writer can do that without depending on the hero's POV all the time, using it as a crutch, she can preserve the hero's mystery and charm.
CHARACTERS
MAKI
There was potential in her "confused" state. Her character had a really nice dilemma going on. But it was not explored well. There should've been some kind of motivation, could be a past experience, that brought the heroine to the point of that "confusion". But she was in character. She played the part nicely.
JURDIE
I liked him better the second time he appeared and I appreciated him more after that. He had nice dialogues and he had MOTIVATION. He showed what was it that he wanted from Maki. Why he did what he did to be noticed by her, but again, it would have been better if his POVs were omitted and his actions were shown through the heroine's eyes instead.
Their FIRST meeting was disappointing because it lacked IMPACT. But I'll forgive it because of the "kilig" factor in the scenes. Maki's "confusion" played a significant role in those scenes and it would have been a deeper, more interesting story if explored properly.
OTHER DETAILS
FIRST MEETINGS should always have an impact. It sets the attraction between your characters. From the moment they meet, they have this feeling—whether they already accepted it or it's just a passing thought that they chose to ignore—that "this person is special". In Maki and Jurdie's case, they knew each other from before, but that attraction has to SHOW in the scenes. That's why I think that their second meeting was better than the first, where I felt that Jurdie was only some hungry bystander.On Maki, her "confusion" would be more credible if there's some reason behind it. And then Jurdie would be her truth, the man who will make her discover what she really is. It had a potential for a really good conflict.
Maximize and explore your "kontrabida" roles. Don't be afraid to use them to make the heroine's life harder. You'll be surprised about your character's strength and ability to overcome the problems thrown at her. Lead the readers' emotions on a roller coaster ride.
The good points were the kilig scenes. Jurdie's intentions were visible, but only because it used his POV.
CONCLUSION
I actually liked it, though the writing was still that of a newbie (in romance writing, at least), but she can always polish her craft. I hesitate to give it 3 stars because it didn't satisfy the technical aspects I was looking for, but it's fun to read.
I actually liked it, though the writing was still that of a newbie (in romance writing, at least), but she can always polish her craft. I hesitate to give it 3 stars because it didn't satisfy the technical aspects I was looking for, but it's fun to read.
RATING: 2 STARS ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
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